Can marriage recover from cheating

For now, he has left. Im devastated and am reeling. Turns out he has told several people that he is not happy in our marriage. We have been working on things, and I have been trying to make an effort.

He says that he loves me and hes screwed up. But in the very long discussions we have had, he also told me he loved her, and when I said the only way to be with me was to cut all contact with her, he said he couldnt do that. It was an impossible choice. When I mentioned it a second time, he was silent. At that point, I felt he had no fight for our marriage. Im not sure Ive seen much since.

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Just discovered that my husband is having an emotional affair with a work colleague. Of course, he followed the script minimising the situation, not wanting me to see his phone, hiding her messages in a hidden folder etc etc.

From what I can see, they have not had sex. He says they havent and I do believe him on this (I knew when he was lying at the start of this discovery). But, he clearly fancies her. She is much younger, prettier and divorced. Im not sure if the feeling is reciprocated - it does seems more flirting on her part. But a part of the conversation has been him discussing our sex life, calling it chore sex and the like. (For context we are in our 50s and have been together for 30 years).

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